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The following message is delivered by Reverend Dr. Bruce Wheeler Thielman. Today's sermon is entitled "On Dealing with Disagreement." Let us continue in worship by giving reverent attention to the reading of God's Word as it is recorded at four points in the New Testament. I read first from the letter to the Ephesians,

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chapter 4. "Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil." And then from the gospel according to Matthew, chapter 18. "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he lives to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along

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with you that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." And now from Paul's letter to the church at Galatia, chapter 6. "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him

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in a spirit of gentleness. Look to yourself lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." And finally, these words from the gospel according to Matthew, from the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 6. "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses,

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neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." And may God bless to us and to our understanding these readings from his word. Pray with me. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. This last fall, I had the happy pleasure of spending an evening with Thomas P. O'Neill, Tip O'Neill, the former Speaker of the House of Representatives in

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Washington, D.C. In the course of the conversation, he mentioned how he differed with President Reagan on just about every matter of legislation which came before Congress. But he said, "We sure do enjoy drinking together and telling Irish jokes." I said, "Is that true that you can fight during the day and be friends at night?" "Oh, that's the way it is in Washington," he said. "We do

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everything we can to defeat one another's positions all day long, but at evening time, we're friends again. We have learned to disagree without being disagreeable." When I heard him say that, I thought to myself, "I wish that Christians could learn this, for I have known, and you have known also, of churches which had been divided by feuding forces that seemed to fight but never to

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be friends." It would be good, I think, if more Christians were like politicians, in that they would fight, then make peace, and then go on. But as I've already noted, this is quite often not the case. Now, when I'm speaking of fighting here, I'm not speaking simply of harsh words, of insults, or slurs that people might direct to one another. Jesus speaks of that kind of thing in Matthew 5,

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when he says, "If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." This is not a plea for pacifism, as many think. You see, the key word in the sentence is the word "right." If anyone strikes you on the right cheek. In the first century, almost everyone was right-handed. Now, the only way in which you can strike a right cheek with your right hand is to hit it with the

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back of your hand. But in the first century, when you hit a person in that way, it was not understood to be an act of violence. It was instead an insult. You gave someone the back of your hand. So what Jesus is saying here is, don't trade insults for insults. Don't slam someone just because they slam you. Don't direct your word fire at them because they direct their word fire at you.

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But it's not that kind of simple confrontation of which I'm thinking this morning. I'm thinking of fundamental disagreement. I'm talking about deep and basic divisions that grow up between people. I'm talking about the anger and profound indignation that you often find in the church. How are we to deal with such things? The Bible teaches us four principles, and the first of those

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principles is this. We must face the reality of our angry disagreement. When Paul wrote to the Ephesians, he said, "Be angry, but do not sin, and do not let the sun go down on your anger." Paul is saying that it is possible to be indignant, it is possible to be angry, it is possible to be wrathful without sinning. I think of it in terms of an internal combustion engine. You all understand

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the principle on which it operates. A small bit of gasoline is injected into the head of the cylinder. The gasoline is then ignited by a spark from a spark plug. This causes a tiny explosion, which drives the piston in the cylinder and causes the engine to do whatever it is assigned to do. Now if, instead of that small explosion in the head of the cylinder, you were to toss a match

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into the gas tank which supplied that engine, you would not have a small explosion, you would have instead a big explosion. Everything would be destroyed. Well it's just this that Paul is driving at when he says that it is possible to be angry without sinning. If your anger is positive and progressive, that is, if it is moving ahead in a controlled way, that's all right. But when it

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becomes negative and destructive, when it does not contribute to advance but only to retreat, when you do not control your anger but rather your anger controls you, then one needs to be careful because that kind of anger is a sin. Now we Presbyterians are known for our intellectual approach to the faith and also for our zeal in believing. We have a reputation of being a rather

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disputatious bunch. And I don't find myself to be at all embarrassed by that. Anger can be a great motivator. Anger in the pursuit of something like justice is absolutely appropriate. Anger can lead to honesty and to openness and to frankness and candor. Anger is only wrong when it leads to violence and destruction. So we need to admit our anger but keep it under control. And Paul also

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says here we need to deal with it quickly. He says don't let the sun go down on your anger. Now that is not to be taken literally. There are some times when because of circumstances or place or position you are not able to heal some wound that has happened before the sun goes down. But the principle that Paul is enunciating is a priceless one. He is saying that when an angry situation

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develops it must be dealt with as quickly as possible. He echoes this same idea in his letter to the Galatians when he talks about people who are angry at one another and he says that their relationship must be restored. And the word restored which he uses is the word which describes the setting of a broken bone. Now we all understand that when a bone is broken it is essential that

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we get it set as quickly as possible. It makes for less pain, it lessens the likelihood of a crippling result, and it also aids in the healing process. So Paul says we need to move quickly in dealing with our anger with other people to cut down on the pain, to cut down on that which might ultimately cripple, and to aid in the process of gaining peace again. So the first principle to

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remember is this. Anger is all right so long as it is controlled and so long as it is dealt with quickly. Now the second principle is to face the one with whom we are in disagreement. Jesus says in the gospel according to Matthew chapter 18, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone, and if he listens to you, you have gained your brother."

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Now psychologists and medical doctors have been debating for decades the question, "Is it better to repress one's anger or to express it?" There seems now to be a unity of thought on this, and that unity, interestingly enough, parallels what the Bible has been teaching for millennia. Repressing anger can lead to depression. Undisciplined expression

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of anger can ruin relationships. So the proper thing to do is to express your anger but to keep it under control. You do not sublimate, but on the other hand you don't scream. You do not deny, but on the other hand you do not destroy. Now of course there are some people who say, "Well, the best way to deal with a person with whom you are out of sorts, a person with whom you

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fundamentally disagree, is to simply avoid confrontation with that person." That's bad advice because you see that allows the anger within you to stay bottled up, and we have evidence that hostility held within can lead to depression, or to obsession, or to headaches, or to chronic overwork, or to chemical dependency, or to hypochondria. There are some physicians who

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even say it's the cause of the common cold. I don't know if that is true, but I do know this. We are all Christians, and by claiming to be Christians we admit that we are sinners, that we are not infallible, that we can and do and will make mistakes. That means all of us need correction. All of us need at times to be encouraged, and all of us at times need to be

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rebuked. This is what the writer of Proverbs is speaking of when he says, "Better a frank word of reproof than the love which will not speak." Or at another place it says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." I just read a study of the unity that holds a team of soldiers together in a time of conflict. What is it that binds them so tightly to one another? It might surprise you to know that

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they have discovered it's not a common ideology, it is not a common fear, it is not a common training or discipline. No, what holds a group of fighting men together is their unwillingness to let the group down. Each one is determined that he will not let the fellowship down. Now the army of Christ needs exactly that same concern. We are to be not letting each other down, and that means

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that sometimes we're going to speak a word of admiration, and sometimes we're going to speak a word of admonishment. Sometimes we will rejoice, and other times we will rebuke. Jesus says, "Face this one with whom you have an angry disagreement. Get this thing worked out." But he acknowledges that when you do this, you don't automatically gain your gold, which brings us to our third

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scriptural principle. Jesus goes on to say that we must face the makers of peace. Listen to his words. After talking about going to the brother from whom you are separated, he says, "If he does not listen to you, then take one or two others along with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses." What Jesus is saying is, "Bring in some spiritual

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arbiters. Bring in some peacemakers." Paul picks up this same theme in Galatians 6 when he says, "If any one of you is taken over in a sin, you who are spiritual," that is the peacemakers, "you who are spiritual should restore," that's that word about the broken bone, "should restore that person with gentleness." This is a very important principle for us to remember. Now,

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we don't have the time this morning to talk about the techniques that are to be used in peacemaking, but we can at least say this. It's a hard thing to be a peacemaker, even though it is a very sweet ministry. I came across an article not long ago which pointed out that in maternity wards in some hospitals, when one baby starts crying and irritates another baby, so that baby

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starts crying, and then the two of them are crying and they irritate the third baby, and it turns into a cacophony of crying. In some hospitals, the way they deal with that is this. They put on a phonograph record, and that phonograph record plays the sound of a mother's heartbeat as it is heard by an unborn child in the womb. Now, what a peacemaker does is to echo the heartbeat of God,

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His care, His compassion, and His command. Now, as I have observed peacemakers, I have noticed that all of them emphasize one principle beyond the others, and that principle is the fourth one I'd like us to notice this morning. We have to face the fact that without forgiveness there can be no forgiveness. Now, you may think that I blundered when I uttered that sentence, or that it's a

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nonsense sentence, but think about it for a moment. Listen to what Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount. "If you forgive others, your heavenly Father will forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you." Jesus is saying if you don't give forgiveness, you're not going to get it, which is exactly what we pray every time we utter the words that we call

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the Lord's Prayer. What do we pray? "Forgive us our debts." How? "As we forgive our debtors." Jubal Early was a general in the Southern Army during the Civil War. He was an attorney from Virginia who was opposed to Virginia seceding from the Union, but when Virginia left, he went with it. Jubal Early entered the Army as a colonel and left it at the end of the war as a general. He was

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very successful, especially at the Battle of Bull Run and the Battle of Manassas. But Jubal Early became a very bitter and vindictive man. He never forgave the North, even after the war was long over. On one occasion he had to go to Washington, D.C., and his friends were concerned because they knew of his hatred for the North, his refusal to forgive the North, and they were afraid that when

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he went to the capital city of the nation, Washington, in the North, that he might do something which would cause offense and get him into trouble. So some of his friends went with him. When he stepped off the train, Jubal Early saw sitting on the platform a young Yankee soldier boy. The boy had no legs, one arm was gone, and his face was hideously scarred. With his one hand,

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he was holding a cup, begging for money. Jubal Early immediately walked over to it, talked to this young soldier for a few minutes, and then put a very generous amount of money into the cup. When he returned, his friends said, "Well, that's quite surprising. We know of your bitterness with regard to the North. We never thought you'd do anything like that." And Jubal Early replied, "I gave him

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the money because that's the first Yankee I've seen that was shot up to my satisfaction." What can be more deeply rooted bitterness than that? Now, set over against that the example of Robert E. Lee, the leader of the Southern forces, also a Virginian, one who did not want Virginia to secede from the Union, but when it did, he went with it. When the war was over, Robert E. Lee did

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everything he could to gain forgiveness from both sides, to heal the wounds of the nation. And on one occasion, he met Jubal Early, and he said to him, "General Early, do you still hold fast to this unforgiveness that you feel toward the North?" And Jubal Early replied, "I most certainly do. I will never forgive them." To which Robert E. Lee said, "Then I hope that you yourself will never

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need forgiveness, for he who cannot forgive destroys the bridge over which he himself must pass." My friends, there are only four alternatives to being forgiving. One is to demand repayment, and that isn't always possible. If someone slays your reputation, even if they attempt to make amends, they never can correct all the harm that they've done. Another alternative to forgiveness

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is to seek revenge. That simply pulls you down to the level of the person who has offended you. Another way to avoid forgiveness is to give yourself over to hate, but hate is a hideously destructive emotion. It tears you apart inside. And the only other alternative is to ignore this person whom you do not forgive, to coexist but to hold on to the grudge. But when you do that,

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you see, when you cling to an unforgiving spirit, you yourself cannot be forgiven by God. Jesus has said so. Now admittedly, forgiveness is a very costly thing. You pay the price. If someone wounds your reputation and you forgive them, your reputation is still wounded. You're paying the price. You have to lay down your ego. You're putting the needs of someone else before yourself,

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and you have to give up a certain amount of power. Because you see, in the world, we're taught that if someone hurts you, you have the power and the authority to hurt them back. That's what the world teaches. But when you forgive someone, you lay aside that worldly directive, that worldly kind of power. And it's hard to do that. But this is exactly what our Father God did in Jesus Christ.

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He bore upon himself the price of our sin, taking the beating the whole world deserved. He laid aside his prerogatives, his divine authority, and he laid aside the power he had to destroy us instead of to save us. And just what he did is what he calls us to do. I believe that only Christians can truly forgive in this deep and fundamental sense. The Bible says, "We love

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because he first loved us." And that sentence might just as well read, "We forgive because he first forgave us." My sister or brother in Christ, nothing that we do in this life can be completed, and that is the reason that we believe in hope. Nothing that we do, no matter how good it is, will ever appear to be totally sane in a crazy world like this, and that's the reason we believe

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in faith. And nothing we can do, no matter what it might be, can we accomplish all together alone, without the help of others. And that is the reason we believe in love. And no virtue that we possess, no matter how highly we might think of it, will be seen by others as being as virtuous as we think we are. And that is the reason that we believe in the ultimate form of love,

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the ultimate expression of love, which is forgiveness. It is only because we are loved that we can love. So the campfire song is quite right. That's how it is with God's love, once you've experienced it. You spread his love to everyone. You've got to pass it on. This is how Christians deal with disagreement. Let us pray. Our Father, make us agents of forgiveness in an

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unforgiving world, emissaries of peace amongst a people given to conflict. Grant by thy grace, by the presence of thy spirit in us, that we might seek out any and all from whom we are separated or cut off by disagreement or distrust or anger. Grant that we might seek them out, and at whatever cost, restore, heal quickly what is broken. Teach us to forgive that we

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ourselves might be forgiven. We pray our prayer in Jesus' name. Amen. [BLANK_AUDIO]